Finding out that the man you love has betrayed you can be one of the most painful times in your life. Your husband’s affair can leave you devastated and confused. The trust you once had with one another is now shattered and the feeling of being betrayed sets in. Although many marriages do end because of this, others tend to find it in their hearts to work together to save their marriage and these people often times have even stronger relationships afterwards.
If there is still love between you and both of you decide you can put in the work as well as the effort to regain what has been lost then you have a great chance of success. Just think about your children and all of the years you were happy with one another. Is all of that worth throwing away because of a bad decision and mistake on his part? Think things through before you make a rash judgement, take a few weeks or days to cool down then talk rationally with each other.
Find a close family member you can confide within and let all your feelings out to them. The best thing though is to find a respectable marriage counselor for you to discuss everything you are dealing with and feeling. They will also work with your husband if the decision is made to work things through together. Your children can even have sessions with them to let out their emotions regarding the current situation and to help them understand it better.
If he has told you that he will end the affair, make sure he knows that “ended it” to you means to cut off all communications with this other person altogether. This means no phone calls, emails, texts etc. and especially not seeing one another again for any reason. If he is not willing to do this then there is no sense in staying in a marriage with some one who does not value you as a wife or a woman and you should move on without them.
There will be days when things seem a lot tougher than normal and the weight of everything seems to hit you when you least expect it. On these days just remember it was not you and that you were the one who had the strength to work through this to try and salvage all of those years you two spent happily with each other. That takes a lot of will power and determination.
Most wives’ reactions are pretty close to the same: they get angry, feel ashamed, disappointed in their husband and most of all betrayed by the one person they loved the most. You will go through periods of wanting to know every last detail of the affair from your husband and also to wondering if he is with his mistress when he is not with you. This is the normal stage of grief over the infidelity and it will pass. This is one time when close friends and family are needed and you should not shut them out but confide in them as it does help.
If you both strive to save your marriage or relationship then though it will hurt deeply you both must discuss the underlying reasons he had the affair in the first place. Discussions should also be had on what exactly the affair entailed, was it emotional or physical or both. To work through your issues and become even stronger as a couple these things must be confronted and dealt with.
Coping with your husband’s affair is not going to be an easy task and will take some time to regain trust within him and your marriage. But if you both truly cherish one another and still have deep rooted feelings for one another then it should not be thrown away at the first signs of difficulty. Even happy relationships have these very same issues but many choose not to put in the work and effort it takes to overcome them and become even closer in the long run.
The emotional hurt of a husband affair can rock the most solid relationship. For tips on how to recover or survive the experience, visit the website at http://www.husbandaffairadvice.com today.